The First and The Last
by heartbreakerninja
Summary: He thought he could escape the pain and the guilt by going to the edge of the city but it didn't mater. Damian was dead. Dick Greyson was the first and now the last. The character selection has him down as Richard but to keep with the origial comics and such; I'm going with his original name in the story as Dick Greyson. They changed it in later comics and tv for obvious reasons


**hey there heartbreakerninja here,**

**ok you're going to have to be patiant with me for this. I'm not use to doing comic books lol. This took a LOT of resurch. Wikapidia became my friend. Sice I don't have every old batman and robin comic at my desposile some facts maybe a little squed but I tried my best to keep them straight. If not oh well this is a fanfic and I can do what I want. Lol.**

**Anyway, this is my very late contibution to 75 years of batman! Though its mostly about Dick Greyson the first Robin. But anyway hope you enjoy!**

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It was dark, pitch black even, outside that night. That was somewhat unusual for the busy city; but then again he wasn't in the normal section of the city. He had chosen the run down section of the city where it was usually quieter and the night prowlers were a little less menacing to start his patrol. He jumped off the building he had been precariously perched on since he had arrived for the beginning of his patrol almost an hour ago. Doing a back flip he landed at a run on the next building before letting loose his grappling hook to grab hold of a taller building to swing himself across the dark street.

He smiled in spite of the turmoil rolling through his mind. Oh how much he loved this feeling of almost flying; but then, so had Damian.

He almost let go of the handle of his grappling hook, causing him to land wrong onto the building next to the one he had been aiming for, the pain was so intense. He landed on his side rolling a little ways across the flat roof before he stopped. Hot tears pricked his eyes as he curled into himself. It wasn't physical pain that was the cause but it might as well been with the way it hurt.

It felt as if something had been removed from his inner most being. It felt so wrong. It wasn't supposed to be this way. It should have been him. He was the oldest. He was the one that was supposed to protect him. Damian was too young. He hadn't had time to really enjoy his life yet. But it was the same as all the other times. It just wasn't fair. Why did he survive when all those that he loved died around him? Why was he the one that always lived? He was the first! He should not have outlived them all!

All of them had died and left him alone. He was the first. And now he was once again the last.

First his parents because some crime boss didn't get his way and decided to end them. Then it was Jason because of a laughing insane clown who didn't know when to quit. Then it was Tim. Little Timmy, the smallest one. His little brother in so many ways. He had been cut down by a man who couldn't even fight him fairly. Instead he hid behind a familiar mask. Much too soon after it was Stephanie; the only female to ever take up the bird mantle. She had been like a little sister to him. He tried to protect her the best he could. But in the end she had died from a beating she hadn't deserved. He had felt so helpless.

And finally there was Damian. Little Damian was the youngest. Another one of his younger brothers. He had refused to lose another so he stayed closer to Damian then all the others before him. Taking him under his wing. But even then he couldn't save him. He had been struck down by his own fears come to life by a psycho with a PHD in chemistry and psychology. And what was worse was he had been no more than two feet away and he couldn't save him. He wasn't able to save Damian. He wasn't able to save any of them. Why?

Why?

Why?

WHY!?

The tears that had been pricking at his eyes finally fell as he finally broke down. There, on the dark roof of the dilapidated old building, on the run down side of Gotham, the first of the Robins finally let every painful emotion out all at once. He let it all go, in an almost unearthly wail of pure anguish. If there had been any villains afoot they would have turn tail and ran from the agonizing howl that came from the teen on the roof. He laid like that for a long time. Lost in his own pain he noticed nothing.

Time had no meaning in the midst of the agony Dick was in. All he could think, all he could see was their deaths; even the ones he hadn't seen. All of them, one by one, playing through his mind. His parents, Jason, Tim, Stephanie, and then Damian. Each of them gone; like the flame of a candle in the wind. Snuffed out before their flame even had a chance to truly shine.

It was a full 30 minutes before Dick had finally calmed down to only quiet sobs and then another 10 minutes for finally only silent tears to fall. Only then did he finally become aware of time again. He was actually quite surprised that Bru- Batman hadn't tried to check in on him. But then he probably wasn't fairing well either.

Anger burned through Dick so quickly it almost surprised him. Batman was also to blame for their deaths as well. Not his parents death, but for all the other Robins. Each one had trusted Batman to be there when they needed him. And each time he had come too late.

Too late.

Too late to save Jason from the beatings from a tire iron, and then finally the bomb. Too late to realize that he had a psychopath look alike on the loose till he had already strangled the life out of Tim. He was even too late to realize that Stephanie only wanted to prove that she was worthy to be called Robin; toppling the first domino in a line of dominos that eventually lead to her being beaten to almost death only to die in the hospital with Batman and himself left to watch her fade away. Then finally, he was too late to make it when both Dick and Damian had been captured, tortured and then ending with Damian's death. So close yet still too late to save any of the children he promised to protect.

Too late.

He was always too late to save the ones that were supposed to be the closest to him.

Save for one.

Him; Dick Grayson; Nightwing; the first and the last of the Robins. The only one to ever survive being The Batman's sidekick and partner.

The first and the last Dick thought bitterly as well as mournfully. It took everything he had left not to break down once more as a sob threatened to choke him. He curled further into a ball than he already was, pulling his hands through his hair. Trying to release the pressure that was building within his heart as tremors racked his slight frame.

He had lost a lot of weight in the weeks since Damian's death. He just couldn't really eat. No matter how hard Alfred had tried to get him to. He hadn't slept a full night in about the same way. Every time he closed his eyes it was Damian's terror filled eyes that were burned into his eyelids and his screams of fear that would ring through his ears; forcing him to snap awake in a cold sweat. Damian's name dying on his lips as he forced himself to stop screaming. Barbara and Alfred had both long stopped running to his room to see what was wrong. The Bat was much the same. By the second week they knew why he was screaming and that he would rather deal with the pain on his own.

Barbara, though she really didn't want to, had to leave the manor to head back for home before anyone worried, leaving Alfred to try and get his two charges to come back from the pit of despair and grief they had fallen into. It wasn't as if Barbara and Alfred weren't hurting as well. They just didn't have the guilt of not being there in time to save them as the two men had hanging over their soul.

Didn't have the guilt of being the first and now the last.

Dick curled his fingers tightly through his hair as he tried to keep himself together. Something that was becoming a constant struggle from one day to the next. He didn't need to breakdown again. He thought that if he got out of the manor, got out the main section of the city, away from all the memories, maybe then he would be able to out run the pain that was haunting his every moment. But it seemed that even here, away from all that reminded him of what he lost, he could not escape the guilt and pain that was clouding his mind.

It pulled and pushed and smothered him like he was drowning in some deep dark water filled chasm. The pain was crushing him and he didn't know if he had the strength to push himself back to the surface. He wished that he had died and not any of the others. Why should they die while he lived? It wasn't right; it wasn't fair, it was wrong. He was the first; he should be the one to die; now he was the last.

He was the first and the last. He was the first and the last. It was a mantra that kept running through his mind like an out of control freight train just waiting to crash. Maybe he already had.

Dick remained where he lay much longer than he ought have. If one of his and The Batman's many enemies were to find him there he would be easy prey. He wouldn't even put up a fight if they did. A small part of him wished someone would find him. To end his painful existence so he could be with his pseudo -sibblings. And that's what they were to him. Siblings. Not by birth or blood but by time and friendship forged from their close proximity to each other. Even when he wasn't directly involved with their training and everyday lives they were still his younger siblings. He was there to listen to their fears and dreams when The Batman could not. Even in his anger Dick knew that Bruce [why was it so hard to say his name?] cared for all of them. He saw them as his children even if he wasn't able to say it aloud.

So Dick was the one the others would run to if they needed help with homework, girl and boy troubles [Stephanie more than the others], advice for just about everything, and mostly to find out why Bruce was so distant to them sometimes. [That came up a number of times between them all] He was the big brother. He was supposed to be their protector. And he had failed them all. Even after not leaving the city so that he was in communicating and grapple line distance, he still was too late and unable to help them when they truly needed him.

Something someone had once told him came back to him in that moment. "If you want to hurt someone you don't fight them directly, you hurt what is closest to them." He hoped it wasn't something the Joker ever said.

Dick chuckled darkly. It was true though. Every enemy that had ever hurt one of the Robins or even came after Batgirl had been trying to hurt Batman. This thought only made him a little less angry at the Batman. After all it wasn't his fault half of Gotham had gone crazy.

"It was just his fault he kept having young sidekicks that are vulnerable to experienced psychopaths." The voice in his head was small and familiar but he couldn't place it. Even still the words rang true. All of Batman's sidekicks had been young even Dick himself had been eight years old when he had been taken in by Bruce after his parents death.

Dick struggled with that thought for a while. His body relaxing into a more comfortable position now that his emotional pain was more manageable. He was no longer curled quite so tightly and could see what was going on around him. So far no villains had come across him. Dick didn't know how he felt about that so he didn't dwell on the thought for too long. Instead he drifted in his memories trying to remember all the happy times he had had with his pseudo-siblings. He wished that they had all met each other.

Tim and Jason probably would have been good friends while Jason and Damian would probably have driven each other crazy like most brothers of different ages do. Stephanie would probably have tried and failed to be the mediator while Dick himself would have been the one to keep them all together. Barbara had never Met Jason but Dick believed they would have gotten along quite well. Dick smiled a small sad smile thinking about what they would have done together if they had all been together. If none had died.

More than likely Bruce would have had his hands full more often than not. 4 boys of varying age and one girl, not including Barbara? Yeah the sibling rivalry would have been of epic proportions. Knowing Damian he would have tried to use his small size to his advantage while Jason would have used his bulk. Timmy had never been one for a lot of loud noises so he probably would have shied away once it got ruff. Knowing Steph she would have tried to show that she could do anything the other boys could do. It would have been utter chaos on most days and just mildly crazy the rest of the time. But it would have been like a family and that would have made all the craziness worth it.

If he hadn't been the last.

Dick didn't even notice it when he had passed out. He was so emotionally and physically exhausted and drained that he was unaware of it even happening. That was how Batman found him.

Batgirl had called saying that the GPS sensor they had placed on his mask had not moved in over 4 hours and now she was getting worried. She had been stationed in the Bat-cave since Alfred had let her know that Dick had put on his old Robin costume and had left for patrol. She came at once hoping that Bruce was still there and knew what Dick was up to. Of course he had been out driving in the city as Batman. Trying to run from the pain of the loss of another child and partner as well, by throwing himself in his work.

Barbara didn't waste any time. She sat down at the computer and called Dick. When he didn't answer she called The Batman on his communicator. He answered immediately.

"Batman here." Barbara flinched at the dead tone coming through her headphones.

"Bats, Dick left in his Robin costume to go on patrol and hasn't moved from his location in 4 hours. I tried to contact him and he isn't answering his communicator. Bats I'm worried. He hasn't slept well in weeks and hasn't eaten much either. If he gets into trouble he-"

"Send me his location I'm heading there now." Batman cut Barbara off with a fierceness she hadn't heard in his voice for a while. If there was one way to get The Batman up and moving again it was Dick being in trouble.

Barbara didn't waste time. Her hands flying over the keys as she closed in on her friend, and brother in so many ways, location so to further direct The Batman to Dick's location. She was surprised at his location when it finally was fully pinpointed.

"Found him. He's in the older district, just outside the main city limits. Either in or on the old post office building on South Loraine St. Batman why would Dick be there? No one lives in that section anymore; it's completely abandoned." Barbara asked; surprise and worry evident in her voice. Bruce wondered the same thing.

"Got it. Stand by just in case. Watch to make sure his location doesn't change." The Batman said ending the call.

A thousand different scenarios ran through his mind. Had someone broken out prison and kidnapped him? Was he hurt? Had he fallen from a jump or missed the building with his grappling gun? Or was something even worse happening? Was he going to be too late once again? The Batman shook his head to clear his mind as he put the bat mobile into turbo in order to reach his young charge all the while hoping he would not come too late and that he would not lose another child.

When he finally reached the spot, in which Batgirl had said his location was, it took him a few minutes to find him. When he finally located him on the roof he was both relieved and worried. He could see from the still attached grappling gun that he had missed his intended target but other than that he looked fine just passed out. That's what worried him. Dick had taken plenty of spills from a higher height than this and usually was able to walk away fine save a few bruises.

After surveying the area for any threats Batman walked over to where his comrade and long time partner lay motionless half way across the roof.

Except for a few bruises, cuts and scrapes from rolling across the roof there were no signs of any other injury. It didn't look like a struggle happened so there seemed to be no reason for him to be unconscious. Batman let out a sigh before lifting the teen carefully into his arms. On closer inspection he could see a large amount of tear tracks coming out from underneath the teens mask. He also noticed that Dick had lost a large amount of weight; more so than what was healthy. Lifting the corner of the boys mask he could see large dark bags under the teen's eyes from lack of sleep. Everything that Barbara had said could be visibly seen. The kid was a wreck. Of course the same could be said about himself. More than once he had almost crashed into a building or fallen from a building because he was stuck thinking of Damian. Realization hit him like a punch in the gut. Dick must have had the same issue. The two had been as close as brothers. It shouldn't have been surprising for Dick to be taking it just as hard.

Batman gave a quiet mournful sigh as he hefted Dick further into his arms before jumping from the roof. He used his cape to slow his decent before heading back over to the bat mobile. Carefully he laid his charge in the passenger seat before seating himself. He watched the teen sleep for a few moments before he sighed again.

"Dick I'm so sorry I hadn't made it in time. This was entirely my fault. Please don't be blaming yourself. None of this is your fault. If only I had been able to locate you sooner maybe Damian would still be alive." Batman said emotion thick in his voice. He would never have been able to say what he felt out loud if Dick hadn't been unconscious. He just hoped Dick understood at a subconscious level that he did care. "I know you might not believe me after all that has happened; but I promise I won't let anyone hurt you."

He knew it was a promise he shouldn't make. After all he wasn't able to save the other Robins how did he think to be able to keep this one safe? Dick was the first of the Robins, now he was the last. Somehow he had been able to survive all these years while all the others could not. He wasn't able to keep them safe. He wasn't there to make sure they weren't overwhelmed by the enemies that they put away time and time again.

The only way he could ever keep Dick completely safe would be to ask him to stop doing the one thing he had to live for. To stop being a crime fighting superhero. It wasn't something he could ask the teen to do. After all Dick was old enough to make his own choices. He had done so time and time again. When he had passed down the mantel of Robin to Jason and become Nightwing and again when Dick himself started Stephanie's training behind his back; knowing that he wouldn't have a choice other than to continue her training. Then again when he took it upon himself to watch over Damian; even going so far as to join him on his patrols and helping him take down their enemies. And now it looked like he had again taking up the Bird Mantel and became Robin once again.

Sighing once again The Batman started the engine and headed back towards home.

"Barbara, this is Batman. I found him. We're heading back to the bat-cave" Batman said tiredly as he headed for home. It would soon be dawn and a new day was almost upon them. The night may belong to The Batman but the day was Bruce Wayne's and Bruce had a teen to put to bed and then maybe talk to in the morning.

Dick didn't need to suffer through this alone. For once he would be there. He wasn't there when he had needed him but that would change. He was here for the one who had started the whole sidekick business.

The first and the last of the Robins.


End file.
